Metal Moo Cow

First off, big thank yous to Nano Chavez and Chris Reed. Nano found this comp on eBay and quickly let me know of it, and Chris Reed, who had a copy, ripped it and shipped it. Both these guys rule, why can't you be more like them? This has been on my wishlist for a long time, and now it can come off. Thanks, gentlemen.

So why was I so anxious to get a hold of a copy of this compilation of unknown Texas bands? Well, simply because it's really good. This was a favorite LP of mine when I was younger, and hearing it now fills me with weird nostalgic feelings. Although Metal Moo Cow is a regional compilation, it showcases the sort of eclecticism of the Let Them Eat Jellybeans compilation. It was released in 1984 by Matako Mazuri records. Did the label ever release anything else? I don't believe so.

First up is The Fearless Iranians From Hell with their sludgy, sun-drenched pseudo-metal cut "Burn The Books." The Fearless Iranians, as you may know, released some great records on Boner Records run by Tom of Fang.

Napalm are next with "Sons Of Noise," a blistering track with some overly silly vocals. I know nothing of this band, though they rule. Never heard anything else from them or about them other than their contribution to this comp. Anyone?

Heather Leather are next doing a different version of "We Came To Destroy" than appeared on their self-released 7". Heather Leather were three Mexican-American sisters from San Antonio playing some poorly executed, but totally endearing metal.

Come on, you know The Offenders. They were friends and shared some members with DRI and made a couple of fantastic LPs on R Radical and Rabid Cat records. Pretty great hardcore band they were, but their contribution, "Fed Up" seems a little out of place next to all the art-damage and outsider metal here.

The Jeffersons, never heard of 'em. Is their track, "Gotta Walk The Dog" a skronky, acid-fueled retort to Rufus Thomas' classic "Walk The Dog"? Shit I don't know and it's kind of hard to think or write while the song is playing, those guitars...

The Hickoids had the idea to infuse country into their punk. The band had the legendary Wade Driver (Corduroy, 50 Million) amidst their ranks. Their track, "Animal Husbandry" is awesome.

Scratch Acid should need no introduction. David Yow went on to front The Jesus Lizard. "The Greatest Gift" is perhaps their best known song and it appeared here first. Kind of like '60s surf/garage pounded into unrecognizable mushy darkness. So fucking ahead of their time was Scratch Acid.

Never heard of Feast of Fools before this comp, but fuck if they don't sound a lot like Florida's Morbid Opera with their apathetic femme vocals and jangly clean-tone guitars. They sound like they were in college at the time. I can't clarify that statement, they just do.

The Technicolor Yawns offer up "Social Disgrace," sounding kind of like a lesser Simpletones. This is the dud of the album, but not because it's bad per se, it just seems that this wasn't really a band so much as a group of folks having a laugh at punk.

Okay, so Toejam is the most intriguing thing here, sounding like GISM being fronted by Colin of GBH. Any Texans out there want to tell me how I can hear more Toejam? This band was just too fucking cool to not have done more.

So there you have it, a trip through Texas's weirder punk scene of the '80s in just a pussy hair over 25 minutes. Again, big props to Nano and Chris Reed for hooking this up. I have said it before and I'll say it a thousand more times, motherfuckers like these two keep the hearse running. Awesomeness.

MOO!