Fuck Christmas

Fuck Christmas! It sucks, it's antiquated, it appeals to people's greed and sappy sentimentality, it's depressing. Here's the annual coal for your proverbial ear stocking, Lee Ving and FEAR's Fuck Christmas single. One side is the original version, and the other is a radio friendly version without that unsightly F-word. The sentiment remains the same. Fuck Christmas!

Unhappy Holidays

XXX Mas

So every blog on the goddmaned interwebs is posting their favorite Christmas albums and Cosmic Hearse is no different. If you know Blowfly, you know what to expect. Never before has anyone made so much use out of the fact that "clit" and "dick" almost rhyme. Happy Holidays, perverts.

Here

It's Christmas Bitch!

So it's Jesus' birthday and every blog on the interwebs has been dragging out their Christmas rarities. So in keeping with this tradition here's perhaps the dumbest, most ill-conceived christmas album ever. Some motherfuckin' coal for your stocking. Oh, and yes, that would be Snoop Dogg with elf ears. Yup. Oh, and since it's Christmas and shit, go ahead and look at The Cosmic Hearse Wishlist over there to the right. Surely one of you out there is sitting on some of these items, even mp3s of some of them. Come on it's Jesus' fucking birthday, bitch.

Merry Whatever

Hyvää Joulua

Well, it's Christmas eve and if you are a Finnish child you are probably eagerly awaiting the arrival of Joulupukki, the Finnish Santa Claus. Joulupukki is like Santa in many ways except where Santa lives in the North Pole, Joulupukki lives in a frozen hell known as Korvatunturi which is actually just a National Park in Finland. Joulupukki doesn't break into your house via chimney, he politely knocks on the door and asks "Onkos täällä kilttejä lapsia?" (Are there any well-behaved children here?) You bad kids get sticks for your parents to beat you with, awesome. Attanas were a Finnish punk band that made this 7" EP 1987 to celebrate their country's bizarre yule-tide tradition. On the crudely rendered cover you see Joulupukki giving sticks to some punkers who have presumably been bad, probably huffing glue, smashing the state, and running afoul of the local constabulary. I have to send a big old thank you and a "Hyvää Joulua" to Terska of the amazing Saapasnahkatorni blog for this and many great läsnä ja hengenlahja over the past year. The rest of you motherfuckers are getting sticks.

Hyvää Joulua

Do They Owe Us Presents? Of Course They Do, Of Course They Fucking Do!

Here I present to you "Merry Crassmas" a gift from your favorite art-school anarcho-punk band, Crass. If you sit through the casio medley of Crass tunes you get treated to an extra snarky message from the band. As palatable as any of their "real" records. I swear this is the last dumb holiday post. Merry Crassmas.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KCQ3PG90

Santa, An Anagram for Satan

King Diamond's single "No Presents For Christmas" Happy Holidays.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5Q64IWVU

Some Coal For Your Stocking...

...the Twisted Sister Christmas Album. Why ? Fuck if I know. Um, enjoy.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=STTTUN94